Friendship Fade Alerter

Stay connected to the people you care about

Choose a comfortable rhythm for the people you care about. Friendship Fade Alerter gently shows when it may be worth saying hello, and helps you reconnect when time has slipped by — without guilt or awkwardness.

See what Friendship Fade Alerter gives you

Real output from an actual run on the friendship below. Nothing is reworded.

The friendship

Danny R. — best man at my wedding. We stopped talking after a falling out about a flat deposit six years ago; neither of us has mentioned it since. Last real contact over a year ago. I have no idea if he'd want to hear from me.

Real run, 2026-10-08 — one of the tool's own built-in examples.

Pick up the thread

• “Hey Danny — I've been meaning to reach out. I genuinely don't know where things stand between us, but I'd rather find out than keep wondering. Hope you're well.”
• Opens directly without requiring either person to settle what happened first. Leaves the door open for Danny to respond however he wants to.

A simple hello

“Hey Danny, you crossed my mind today — hope life's treating you well.”

Make a plan

“Hey Danny — I've been meaning to reach out. Any chance you'd want to grab a drink or a coffee sometime soon?”

Remember

One short message is enough — Danny gets to decide what to do with it, and sending it is the whole job.

In a Nutshell

When

You keep meaning to reach out and months go by.

You give

The people who matter, how often you'd like to be in touch, and when you last were.

You get

Who's fading, and something specific to say to each.

The edge

Built for time-blindness. It notices the drift you can't feel, because three months doesn't feel like three months.

Good to Know

• ADD EVERYONE WHO MATTERS - not just close friends, but also family, mentors, acquaintances you value. The tool tracks them all.
• BE HONEST about ideal frequencies - don't set 'weekly' because you think you should. Set realistic: if you realistically talk every 6 weeks, set 'Monthly' or create custom.
• CONTEXT NOTES are powerful - 'loves hiking, ask about new trail', 'mom struggling with aging parents', 'we always talk about sci-fi books'. Helps generate better starters.
• USE conversation starters even if they feel scripted - they're designed to sound natural and remove the 'what do I say' paralysis.
• DON'T feel guilty about using the tool - needing help with time awareness is valid, maintaining friendships matters more than doing it 'naturally'.
• SNOOZE during genuinely busy times (exams, work crunch, mental health crisis) - relationships can wait, guilt can't pile up.
• CELEBRATE successes - reconnection counter shows you ARE maintaining relationships.
• Quick message templates ('thinking of you!') for super low-friction contact when overwhelmed.

Questions people ask

How do I reach out to a friend after years of silence?

Keep the first message short and easy to answer, and don't make them settle what went wrong before they can reply: "I don't know where things stand between us, but I'd rather find out than keep wondering."

What does Friendship Fade Alerter track?

The people you want to stay close to, how often you'd like to be in touch, and when you last really connected — so you notice a friendship fading before it's gone.

Where is the list kept?

In your browser. Names and notes are only sent when you ask for help writing a message.