GriefGuide

Compassionate guidance for navigating loss — yours or someone else's

Guidance for a loss — whether you're grieving yourself, supporting someone who is, or both. It stays close to what you tell it: what it heard, a few things that may help, words if you need them, and one gentle next step.

See what GriefGuide gives you

Real output from an actual run on the situation below — the full result, nothing reworded.

The situation

My coworker’s husband died last week. I want to support her, but I am afraid of saying something wrong. We are not close friends, and I do not want to intrude or make her manage my discomfort.

Real run, 2026-10-08 — one of the tool's own built-in examples (supporting someone else).

What you described

You want to acknowledge what your coworker is going through without overstepping a relationship that is collegial rather than close. The concern you named — that she might end up managing your discomfort rather than receiving support — is a real and specific one worth keeping in mind.

Worth knowing

A brief, low-demand acknowledgment from a coworker can carry its own kind of weight without requiring closeness. It does not need to be deep to be meaningful.
Vague offers ('let me know if you need anything') put the work of asking on the person who is grieving. Something specific and optional is easier to say yes or no to.

Ways to help

Say something brief and direct. A short message or a quiet word that acknowledges her loss — without a question attached — lets her receive it without having to respond. It does the job without opening a conversation she may not have energy for.
Offer something specific, not open-ended. If you want to do something concrete, name it: 'I'm going to the coffee cart — can I bring you something?' or leaving something at her desk. A specific, small gesture requires nothing back from her.
Follow her lead at work. Some people find routine a relief; others find it hard. Let her set the pace for when and how she re-engages. Treating her normally when she signals she wants that, and not pressing when she doesn't, respects whatever she's navigating.

Words you could use

I was so sorry to hear about your husband.
I've been thinking of you this week.
There's no need to catch up on anything — just let me know whenever you're ready.

Best avoided

'He's in a better place' or 'everything happens for a reason' — These redirect from her loss toward a framework she may not share and may not find comforting.
'I can't imagine what you're going through' — It centers your reaction rather than acknowledging hers, and she may feel she now needs to reassure you.

One next step

Send or say one short sentence — something along the lines of 'I was so sorry to hear about your husband' — with no question after it.

GriefGuide offers guidance, not therapy. If you or someone else is in danger, contact local emergency services; in the US you can also call or text 988.

In a Nutshell

When: Someone died, or someone you love is grieving and you don't know what to say.
You give: Who it's for, what kind of loss, and roughly when it happened.
You get: What you said, reflected back — plus a few things that may help and one gentle next step.
The edge: It works in both directions — for the person grieving and for the person trying to help without making it worse.

Good to Know

You don't have to share everything — even minimal input gets useful guidance
The 'Helping someone grieve' mode gives you phrases to use and phrases to avoid, built only from what you told it — it will not invent a memory to make a line sound personal
Grief over non-death losses (relationships, jobs, health, identity) is just as real and often less validated — this tool treats all loss seriously
More support is offered as an option, not as evidence that something is wrong with how you are grieving
If you're in crisis right now, please reach out to a crisis line in your area directly

Questions people ask

What should I say to a coworker whose family member died?

Keep it short and don't ask for a reply: 'I was so sorry to hear about your husband' or 'I've been thinking of you this week.' If you want to help, offer something specific and small, like bringing a coffee, rather than 'let me know if you need anything.'

What should you not say to someone who is grieving?

Avoid explanations of the loss ('everything happens for a reason', 'they're in a better place') and lines that make them reassure you ('I can't imagine what you're going through'). Short and sincere beats clever.

Is there a right way to grieve?

No. Grief doesn't follow fixed stages or a timetable, and it can come and go for months or years. GriefGuide responds to what you describe rather than to a model of how grief should go.

What if I'm struggling to cope?

If the loss is affecting your daily life for a long time, a grief counselor, your doctor or a support group can help. If you are thinking of harming yourself, contact emergency services now; in the US, call or text 988.